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Conscious Parenting – on-line course with Kathryn Jefferies

Hello friends!!

I am happy to share that Kathryn Jefferies (author of Awake: Education for Enlightenment) and I are developing a ‘conscious parenting’ on-line course.

Our focus is to give parents tools and support to move through the many challenging parenting situations from a more conscious and intelligent place (which in my experience has resulted in an ability to trust myself deeper and experience new levels of joy, freedom and creativity in all aspects of parenting).

We would love to know what kind of interest there is out there. Please comment below if this is something that might interest you and include the main ‘issues/challenges’ you face as a parent that you would like us to address in the course.

We are so excited to create this community and honoured to offer support that can bring a deep level of peace to such a challenging journey. Please respond below or email me a message.

Love and support always, Laura

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Practice: Expanding your Awareness

At some point on our journeys of deepening awareness, most of us hit what feels like a few ‘plateaus’ along the way.  A tricky one is where we recognize that we are not our identities, but feel stuck in them nonetheless. This can be a frustrating place to be, because the voice of  ‘you know better, so why are you still so attached to your story?’  can and does arise.  Of course, this voice (from the spiritualized superego) isn’t very helpful and just adds another layer to the ‘story’.  Trying to just detach from our mental bodies – our thoughts, beliefs, ideas, convictions, memories, is a form of denial that never works for long.

I think the most helpful thing I can offer here is to say that it comes back again and again to telling the truth about what’s here.  Not telling about what is here and why it should or shouldn’t be here, or what’s here and how you are going to go about fixing/changing that, but just simply being truthful (and curious) about what’s here.  I have experienced that when we are willing to tell the truth without any judgement, deeper truths are spontaneously revealed that add a richness, depth and clarity (and release and joy!) to our experience of any moment.

How do we go about noticing the truth?  I’ve found it really helpful to start with the ‘external’ world – what or who is around you?  Take a moment to notice things that have always been in that particular space but that you haven’t really looked at before.  Notice the quality of light, temperature, sounds and movements around you… then shift your attention to your physical body – scan it and notice whatever sensations are present (from pain and tension to strength and openness).  Now scan your emotions – what feeling is present?  Is there one?  Has there been one going on in the background today?  Where is it in your body – what narrative is around it? Your role here is to be a ‘listening presence’ that just leans in to check out what is going on…. Now move your attention into your mental body – is your mind racing or calm?  Are you stewing, stressing, planning, fantasizing?  What kind of thoughts are running through your head, what tone of voice do they carry? Just notice. Now see if you can just notice a relaxed alertness that is somehow in the background, taking this all in… the witnessing consciousness.  What happens to your mind when your attention is on this conscious space?

Now see if you can hold all of this in your awareness at once – what happens to your state of being?

This practice is potent.  I notice right now such a difference between the energy of  ‘the me that wants to get things done’ versus the energy of the vast presence of awareness that holds the ‘me’ and everything else.  I can remember when the ‘me’ used to seem so much louder and so much more ‘in command’ than the silent alertness… but that has shifted, and I am certain this constant ‘practice’ – simply of shifting my attention to the silent awareness that is always present, and letting go of ‘looking for anything’ in ‘there’, is the ‘how’.

The presence of that awareness grows. And sweetens. And eventually, it becomes home, and the mind is where I go to, instead of the other way around.

It is no small thing.

Sending love and support always, L.

PS- I will be speaking at the women’s wellness weekend in Revelstoke BC on June 18-19 – Click here to find out more details.

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Getting stuff done – from presence

I received a beautiful question the other day, from a friend who was seeking understanding around how to respond to all the demands in life and maintain present moment awareness.

I love this question: How do we move through life with awareness (staying rooted in the present) and still get everything done?

How do we stay present when so much of what we do seems to require thinking, planning, doing….like our jobs, or keeping a household running, or taking care of others that need us?   It seems that the very heart of our conditioning lies in these massive invisible clouds laden with ideas, expectations, plans and objectives that we unconsciously carry into each moment (whether it is a business meeting, or grocery shopping, or even some of our social get-togethers). No wonder we are exhausted!  We spend virtually all our time racing around, trying to get everything done while meeting all the conditions and demands written in these ‘clouds’.

Is it possible to just let all that go and fully be here (and still see everything that ‘needs to get done’, get done?)

Well, why don’t you check it out for yourself?  I have found that it is not only possible, but much more sane and enjoyable…..

There are no conditions needed to be fully present.  We don’t have to wait until there is a quiet moment alone to allow ourselves to be fully present.  We can be fully present – actually we already are fully present– in any moment.  Notice if you have attached an idea or image of what ‘being present’ looks like…..most of us do. Being present doesn’t look a certain way – it simply means being fully open to what’s here.  So we can be fully present with sadness, or busyness, or stress – these states might not be comfortable but we don’t have to let them take us for an exhausting mental ride. We can just stay present and not run away, or hide, or push away, or distract ourselves from discomfort of any degree.  It can be challenging at first – because it is unfamiliar and seemingly counter-intuitive to remain in apparent discomfort – but that changes.

It is helpful to consider the conditions you may have put on your experience (for it to be ‘good’ or ‘happy’ or ‘meaningful’).  And see that because you likely have a deep preference for certain moments, activities, people or emotional states, when something different arises, you hit resistance – and then feel like you are not ‘present’. It is natural to have preferences – but when we continually exert effort to ‘make our preferences come into being’, we are in resistance to what is already present, and we feel out of alignment with ourself in some way – disconnected, separate, fragmented, confused….

So become aware of that resistance – that is what makes things extremely painful. The resistance is what causes the suffering.  Once you are aware that you are resisting something uncomfortable (almost always an emotion) you are at the foot of a conscious choice -to keep resisting (denying, avoiding) or to dive in and see what’s there.  I’m here to encourage you to take the dive!!  (Join me for a session if you would like support in moving through this…..<3).

There is a maturing that happens here… at some point we start to realize how we’ve been on the path of insanity, which involves believing every thought and working our butts off to accomplish everything those thoughts tell us to do. Then we might start to question our thoughts (Byron Katie’s Work is so useful here) and we start to see that we don’t have to believe them – there are other choices.

Then we might see that the one we identify ourselves to be, the one in control, actually doesn’t exist – except as a very strong and persuasive (continually gathering evidence to assert its existence) idea in our mind. An idea we have worshipped and defended fiercely for a long time, as being the centre of our existence.  When this ‘me’ is seen though, a surrender spontaneously occurs and we find ourselves to just simply be here, with whatever is, without condition – we are curious, alive, conscious, spontaneous, intelligent and loving presence.

So then from this place ~of presence~ we might notice that the diapers are getting low, or we are out of bananas, or there is a work meeting scheduled for 11:00 am.  Ok, this is the richness of the dance of life – we respond ‘as indicated’ to whatever life brings – from presence.  Maybe a thought arises that a lesson needs to be planned for next week’s class – so we can notice that thought and remain conscious…. we can look to see if there is an emotional charge (stress) associated with it?  If so, we inquire (open) into that stress. Or, if there is no stress, we go ahead and plan the lesson -from presence – which in my experience, results in a creative, inspired and joyful planning session which will likely flow into the actual class when taught.

It is essential to start telling the truth about what the most immediate thing is that is arising, whether it is an event, an emotion, an action, and attend to that. This often means just focusing your full awareness on it.  Insights will flow in.

From a place of presence, the things we once thought ‘had to get done’ start to take on a different hue – a different meaning. They start to represent the mysterious movements of life.  And lots of these things are seen to be nothing but conditioned demands from the illusory ‘cloud’, and they don’t actually need to get done – or if they do, we see that they don’t need to be stressful, or resisted, or executed in a predetermined way. We might see instead that they are all opportunities (diverse and always unexpected) to be unconditionally present.

We start to see busyness as the vibrancy and abundance of life’s movements.

This is what it means to operate from conscious loving awareness.  It is gentle and supportive – and much more humble and simple than the perplexing weight that comes with trying to meet all the unconscious demands set by our cloudy minds.

Peace to you in this moment <3

L.