Category: non-dual understanding

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The answers are not in thought

It is amazing how resilient we humans are – we find ways to put up with inner turmoil for decades or lifetimes because we believe it is an inescapable part of being human. Perhaps it is for a while, but at some point, for some of us, there is a deep draw to sincerely dig in and see what’s really under and within all that.  What are we really made of?  If what the teachers say is true, that unnecessary suffering is caused by our thoughts, and we begin to see how much we identify ourselves with (as) our thoughts – how can we meet something beyond that and have a conscious experience of it?

This question drove me for a long long time… and a huge realization occurred for me when I starkly recognized that the answer can’t be found in thought – so stop looking there...  (so if the answer isn’t in thought… what is left?  What is here when you don’t reach into the world of thought? Try this now….)

I had been searching for some ideal of ‘abiding peace’ that I was sure would be linked to a continual state of mind.  It was kind of like dreaming of being in a permanent mental state of savasana after a dynamic yoga practice.  And that is indeed a blissful state of peace… but the peace of savasana is conditional (on a good yoga practice, a quiet room, a soft voice, heck, the lavender eye pillow doesn’t hurt!).  I wanted to find a constant peace that my mind could harmonize with and validate… I wanted the voice of the superego (the voice we unconsciously believe in as our ‘wisest’ moral conscience) to finally say in a deep soothing voice, yes Laura, good work, you are now eternally home in peace…..the heartbreaks of the world won’t affect you anymore…. This was my innocent, child-like dream of what I was hoping to find on the spiritual ‘path’.

But of course, you already know in your heart that it doesn’t quite work like that.  There is no avoiding the heartbreaks of the world… but there is an astonishing discovery to be made – even within the deepest heartbreaks, that can show us that we never left the peace that we are.

The vehicle is a genuine willingness to stop searching within the territory of thought for a solution (or for a ‘way’ to peace) (which is a way of trying to change/fix/avoid reality)… and instead to and simply drop into what is Here (no matter how uncomfortable or terrifying that may initially seem)… and the good news (as Gangaji says) is –

a conscious peace is always waiting. There is nothing else.

But there is a catch, it takes fully committing to this drop.  

That’s the hard part; the plunge that we think might eat us alive or hold us hostage permanently.

That’s the part where I needed help from my teachers and mentors, Cheryl Brewster, Kathryn Jefferies, Gangaji and Eli. and where I’m now so passionate about supporting others through.  And to be truthful, the plunge has to be taken again and again to break through all those layers of deep conditioning that keep bubbling up.  It isn’t easy – this is why they say a true ‘spiritual path’ is gruelling – it takes a tremendous amount of courage to question what nobody in your world seems to be questioning and then to walk in the truth of your own discoveries.

My love and support to you who are sincerely asking these questions and who are mustering the courage to take this plunge.  While you might be feeling vulnerable, confused and disoriented at times, (as you move from the ‘known’ into the ‘unknown’) you are actually powerful wayshowers – who are no longer perpetuating the deep layers of conditioning that have dictated so much about how the world as we know it has to operate… your courageous step towards living consciously (by seeing through and therefore dismantling the power of conditioning within your own experience first), is what will allow the fullness of your being to come forth, which naturally bears the gifts of creative insight, compassionate action and a calm heart full of joy.

My blessings to you friends!

 

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Getting stuff done – from presence

I received a beautiful question the other day, from a friend who was seeking understanding around how to respond to all the demands in life and maintain present moment awareness.

I love this question: How do we move through life with awareness (staying rooted in the present) and still get everything done?

How do we stay present when so much of what we do seems to require thinking, planning, doing….like our jobs, or keeping a household running, or taking care of others that need us?   It seems that the very heart of our conditioning lies in these massive invisible clouds laden with ideas, expectations, plans and objectives that we unconsciously carry into each moment (whether it is a business meeting, or grocery shopping, or even some of our social get-togethers). No wonder we are exhausted!  We spend virtually all our time racing around, trying to get everything done while meeting all the conditions and demands written in these ‘clouds’.

Is it possible to just let all that go and fully be here (and still see everything that ‘needs to get done’, get done?)

Well, why don’t you check it out for yourself?  I have found that it is not only possible, but much more sane and enjoyable…..

There are no conditions needed to be fully present.  We don’t have to wait until there is a quiet moment alone to allow ourselves to be fully present.  We can be fully present – actually we already are fully present– in any moment.  Notice if you have attached an idea or image of what ‘being present’ looks like…..most of us do. Being present doesn’t look a certain way – it simply means being fully open to what’s here.  So we can be fully present with sadness, or busyness, or stress – these states might not be comfortable but we don’t have to let them take us for an exhausting mental ride. We can just stay present and not run away, or hide, or push away, or distract ourselves from discomfort of any degree.  It can be challenging at first – because it is unfamiliar and seemingly counter-intuitive to remain in apparent discomfort – but that changes.

It is helpful to consider the conditions you may have put on your experience (for it to be ‘good’ or ‘happy’ or ‘meaningful’).  And see that because you likely have a deep preference for certain moments, activities, people or emotional states, when something different arises, you hit resistance – and then feel like you are not ‘present’. It is natural to have preferences – but when we continually exert effort to ‘make our preferences come into being’, we are in resistance to what is already present, and we feel out of alignment with ourself in some way – disconnected, separate, fragmented, confused….

So become aware of that resistance – that is what makes things extremely painful. The resistance is what causes the suffering.  Once you are aware that you are resisting something uncomfortable (almost always an emotion) you are at the foot of a conscious choice -to keep resisting (denying, avoiding) or to dive in and see what’s there.  I’m here to encourage you to take the dive!!  (Join me for a session if you would like support in moving through this…..<3).

There is a maturing that happens here… at some point we start to realize how we’ve been on the path of insanity, which involves believing every thought and working our butts off to accomplish everything those thoughts tell us to do. Then we might start to question our thoughts (Byron Katie’s Work is so useful here) and we start to see that we don’t have to believe them – there are other choices.

Then we might see that the one we identify ourselves to be, the one in control, actually doesn’t exist – except as a very strong and persuasive (continually gathering evidence to assert its existence) idea in our mind. An idea we have worshipped and defended fiercely for a long time, as being the centre of our existence.  When this ‘me’ is seen though, a surrender spontaneously occurs and we find ourselves to just simply be here, with whatever is, without condition – we are curious, alive, conscious, spontaneous, intelligent and loving presence.

So then from this place ~of presence~ we might notice that the diapers are getting low, or we are out of bananas, or there is a work meeting scheduled for 11:00 am.  Ok, this is the richness of the dance of life – we respond ‘as indicated’ to whatever life brings – from presence.  Maybe a thought arises that a lesson needs to be planned for next week’s class – so we can notice that thought and remain conscious…. we can look to see if there is an emotional charge (stress) associated with it?  If so, we inquire (open) into that stress. Or, if there is no stress, we go ahead and plan the lesson -from presence – which in my experience, results in a creative, inspired and joyful planning session which will likely flow into the actual class when taught.

It is essential to start telling the truth about what the most immediate thing is that is arising, whether it is an event, an emotion, an action, and attend to that. This often means just focusing your full awareness on it.  Insights will flow in.

From a place of presence, the things we once thought ‘had to get done’ start to take on a different hue – a different meaning. They start to represent the mysterious movements of life.  And lots of these things are seen to be nothing but conditioned demands from the illusory ‘cloud’, and they don’t actually need to get done – or if they do, we see that they don’t need to be stressful, or resisted, or executed in a predetermined way. We might see instead that they are all opportunities (diverse and always unexpected) to be unconditionally present.

We start to see busyness as the vibrancy and abundance of life’s movements.

This is what it means to operate from conscious loving awareness.  It is gentle and supportive – and much more humble and simple than the perplexing weight that comes with trying to meet all the unconscious demands set by our cloudy minds.

Peace to you in this moment <3

L.

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The Humble Host

This morning it was my great joy to host Satsang.

Now, just so we’re clear… that doesn’t for a second mean that I am pretending to be some enlightened guru that has a ‘teaching’ to share – or that I think I might be any more awake than anyone else…. No. In fact, hosting satsang brought in a huge sense of humility and vulnerability because to do this with integrity, I had to fully let go of the ego’s tendencies and desires to have ‘plans’ and ‘processes’ to use as a foundation and structure…. I had to surrender all foundation and struture and commit to just openly being there. I’m clear that in truth, if we are trying to bring something to the table in Satsang, (in terms of driving concepts, philosophies or understandings) we are not in Satsang – we might be having a beautiful philosophical discussion, but that is something different.  Although, paradoxically, all of those things may (and are welcome to) arise spontaneously within Satsang.

So this morning was a vibrant experience of being together.  Stories, insights and questions were shared, technological glitches were attended to (btw, sorry if you were looking for the event, we had problems with google hangouts on air….).  The resonance of what brought us together was …. ahhhh… can’t even put words to it…. it was deep and thick and light and lovely…..and full of love and support that is still alive right now.

I love watching the beauty and joy that quietly erupts when we tell or hear the truth.  

So today was beautiful and I am very grateful.  Thank you to those of you who joined. It deepened my awareness of my love of the truth – and I do feel called to keep bringing people together to share this kind of support and celebration…. it is such a sweet mystery and delight to witness what moves through us when we come together in this way.

May all who are reading share in this peace xx