As we begin to awaken to the unknowable, ineffable, vibrant presence that we are, some of the roles we previously played, even the ones we have loved, can become very difficult, and often impossible to uphold.
I have recently experienced this. For almost a decade (minus a few years of having babies), I worked as the lead academic instructor and outdoor guide for the Adventure Tourism Business Operations program at the College of the Rockies here in Golden, BC. I loved this job – I got to teach in an extremely dynamic and diverse way – from leading sea kayaking, canoeing and bushcraft trips, to doing curriculum development for a wide variety of sustainable tourism courses, to carrying out international work in Africa… I grew so much personally and professionally. I loved the connection I had with my students – we laughed a lot – we questioned things together, we supported each other through the gamut of weather, challenges and joys that this program offers.
So it may seem crazy that I just handed in my letter of resignation. But the truth is, that role isn’t one that I could continue to uphold and stay true to what seems to really want to be expressed through this life – this body, this mind and this heart. The college was an amazing place to be and I’ll always have gratitude in my heart when I think of it, but there is a deeper draw to be fully present and available to my children – and to explore this ever-expanding awakening even more.
I have noticed lately that when I am coaching others who are drawn to explore their own awakening, I experience this exquisite joy of being in alignment with a capacity to serve and support others. It seems to always crack something open that allows peace and joyful clarity to bubble up from the depths – and I am so humbled and honoured to support others in their connection to that ~ to themselves.
So I am so happy to announce that I have made myself available to this work on all levels – this living inquiry that is indeed vibrantly alive, mysterious and always happening in the very moment we find ourselves to be in.
I feel a huge lightness in shedding my old role – even though it was one that I adored. I feel like I have given myself the freedom to live out a deeper truth… Of course there is uncertainty, that’s an essential part of it- but there is an unspeakable calm excitement that comes from this surrender to my Heart.
So I wish all of you reading this the courage to always live out your own deepest truths – to boldly carry them out into the world – even when they point to no certain path, security or any image of ‘success’…. trusting that deep wise heart of yours is what you, your life and this world needs most – so we can all live intelligently, and in peace.
Much love and support always.
Congratulations Laura! And what a beautifully written, heart-felt post. In following our “callings,” we leave the comfort of the known to step into the adventure of new learnings… we must leave the shore to traverse the sea, and in that leaving is a mixture of elation for the new, sadness for the loss, awe for the future and uncertainty of the next step. All are blended into a magnificent opening to something greater and each is an important expression of what it is to be divinely guided in a human experience, and to be humanly aware of the divine impulse that is the core of who we are… a living, breathing expression of opposites, wonderfully free in truth and authenticity. I applaud your courage, calling and connection and stand with you in the fire…. here’s to life! Big hugs and much love, Cheryl
This is so beautiful Cheryl – and could only have been written by one who long ago surrendered to living in truth and authenticity herself. Your mentorship program really helped be become aware of and loosen my deathgrip around egoic identity….you have been such an incredible mentor and friend in this on-going journey. My gratitude always xx
you go god!
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Laura! I SO get your words on so many levels. I too have let go of secure roles (that I loved and learned from) in order to fulfill a deeper calling. I too have chosen the unknown path over “success”. I strongly feel that this is what the world needs right now from me……..following my own small truth in the best way I can in my own small life. For me this means going into the unknown depths where my art has always led me (when I trust in it) and sharing this place with others.
Way to follow your heart and thank you for sharing your experience! I’m sure it will inspire many. It has inspired me:).
Janis
Thanks Janis, SO much. I know you get this and live it deeply. You inspire me too – your humility around it all and your ever-deepening surrender. I am so incredibly grateful that you live in this wee town too. <3