Writings

There is such a hush over everything – even this writing voice is quiet these days.

I could say it is a result of meeting Gangaji again and that the resonance of our wakeful and joyful moment together is what is inviting this quiet to keep rolling in – but even that isn’t the truth.

The truth is that I am quiet.

And in this quietness, there is resolution (without needing to figure anything out) and peace.  The kind of peace that is only found when the ‘search for peace’ is stopped.  For a long time, there was an ambitious Laura Shaw that didn’t want to stop – I was afraid that by ‘stopping’ I was giving up – and that I would miss something crucial.  Or on the other end of things, I was ‘trying’ to stop…. which was just another one of Laura Shaw’s efforts.

But something has stopped (for now anyway) – the trying, the wanting to get somewhere…. Now I am in what’s left when the searching simply stops.  There is nothing secret or cryptic about it.  If you were willing to give up the search (even for a moment), what is left?  What is here?

That fullness… that emptiness….. it is yours – it is you.

Are you willing to stay here?

I told Gangaji that I see the identity – I see how I am not that, but sometimes I still try it on for fun… and other times my attention can still fall into it (believing it to be real….)but not for long.  She said, yes, and it’s ok to wander…but you know your way home.

I see how playing the part is a choice.  And what a delight it is to play it consciously – but at a certain point, even to play it unconsciously is a choice.  How humbling.  How freeing. <3

Raven and I held Satsang this morning (which you can see Here) – and we are both feeling called to create a space where we can open it up for you to join in.  I will post an invitation as soon as we get a time/date sorted.

A deep bow to your own awareness of the truth of who you are.

xx L

 

Needless to say, meeting Gangaji again was exquisite.  All I really wanted to do was take the opportunity to hold her hand and thank her deeply for what she’s devoted her life to, and for how much her support and love has meant to me.  I got to do that – as soon as I sat next to her I was weeping – and laughing.  I said “I’m so happy” she smiled and said “yes you are….”  we had a beautiful exchange and wow – the peace of truth that emanates from her is powerful and contagious.

Sleeping Dog farm was a powerfully heart-opening space too.  Every fence, every vegetable growing in the farm, every chicken, every building, every nook of solace and every garden is being tended to with such love – just being there was a deep retreat in itself.  Leanne who started the centre and all the other people who live and work there glow with the radiance of a truly meaningful and satisfying life…. ahhh!!  So inspiring!!!

And the other participants… I met and connected with people that are living their lives in such soulful and deliberate ways.  They are offering astounding gifts of beauty, healing, inspiration and support to the world in ways that opened my eyes to what is possible.  They all have inspired a deep reminder within myself – to bring forth the deepest gifts (love) within me out into the world – to serve, heal, inspire.  To be here fully – available to respond to life with my full presence.

So I am humbled and grateful – and yes, inspired.

So much love,

Laura

You know, if I’d only met Gangaji through her books and videos, I still would have been overjoyed to come across such a wise and awake being.  But, by another miraculous and mysterious series of events, it seems I will have the opportunity to sit at her feet once more – next weekend in Victoria BC where she will be holding satsang.

There are so many amazing teachers out there – but for some reason, Gangaji deeply caught my attention – and over the past year, I’ve been listening carefully to her words, and sensing on a deeper level, where they are coming from, and what they are pointing to.  It’s kind of blown who I thought I was apart… but that’s part of the deal in all this…..

Why this is all so important to me remains a mystery – but it is. It started as a curiosity around mind, consciousness, what it is in us that ‘perceives’, a (continuing) fascination with our intuitive capacities…. and then it turned a sharp corner when I came across Gangaji.  Suddenly the desire to awaken started to burn.  At first, it was driven by a desire to know and understand – to taste pure consciousness… then as I started to absorb the teaching(less)s that emanate with truth, the desire to know turned into humility – and a desire to surrender (the one who needs to ‘know’).  As I’ve written before, I see now that this is not something the mind will ever ‘get’ – and in the ongoing surrender to this, I’ve been hit with more frequent little whiffs of the fragrance of peace and truth that come from some unknowable source within.

There is so much I have to thank Gangaji for.  Her presence and words have deepened my awakening in ways I totally didn’t expect. Admittedly, despite years of meditation practice and spiritual seeking of all sorts, I had no idea how unconscious I was before meeting her in December. Since that time, I have become supremely aware of the emotional, mental and physical layers and layers of the ‘me’ that isn’t the awake one…. and I still get tangled up in it all of course, but thanks to her, I have learned to stop looking outwards to find total peace….. she’s right, it is all in the ‘stopping’ and really being present and truthful about what is always Here.

I am so deeply honoured to have this opportunity to meet Gangaji again – I can’t even say how much.  It feels so important to once again sit at the feet of my great teacher – and more than anything, express my gratitude to her for what she’s devoted her life to – and the profound effect she is having on supporting the evolution and awakening of human consciousness.

As well as being a radiant source of pure awakened consciousness, Gangaji is a very cool woman. She’s funny, intelligent, loves fiction, knows what is going on in the world, has broken hearts and has had her heart broken, she a ‘regular’ human being who doesn’t think she’s better than anyone else.

I can’t belive we get to be alive on this planet with such an extraordinary gem.

So my dear friends, what would YOU ask if you had the chance to sit the the feet of such a great, wise, beautiful being?  Please let me know – and I’ll keep it in my mind and heart if I do actually have the chance to exchange words with her again.

<3 deep blessings today <3