Tag: mindfulness

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Breaking Free from the Trance of Unworthiness

One of the most profound lessons I’m deeply grateful to be learning in this lifetime is that Love—and qualities like stability, wisdom, clear-mindedness, etc.—truly live within us. Before I could directly access this deep well, I remember encountering phrases like “What you seek is inside you” and “You can’t love anyone else until you love yourself.” They left me feeling empty, even dejected, because I hadn’t yet connected to this within myself and I didn’t know how.

To be honest, knowing ‘how’ doesn’t mean that I always remember!! But the difference is, now when I find myself caught in waves of whatever is arising, (insecurity, doubt, or harsh self-criticism, etc.) —I am aware of something that is like the ring of a distant bell. This ring carries a potent reminder that, while this state feels so real, and is so consuming, it doesn’t actually reflect the deeper truth of who I am, or what I actually need to do. The state presents so much to fix—through self-reflection, exercise, supplements, therapy—and while none of these are wrong, and often even necessary in intense moments, directing my attention to the faint bell offers another, powerful way to respond.

For me, responding to this deeper call starts with simply naming that I’m enmeshed in a state – in what Tara Brach calls the trance of unworthiness. Naming this helps me become aware that I’ve fallen into believing something painful and untrue, something that seems to need fixing or overcoming. Being able to recognize that I am in a state is the true gift of these teachings. With this recognition, I can see how painful it is to feel so far from my true self.

From here, something compassionate starts to take over and I naturally start to resource myself with whatever feels most nourishing in the moment. I might place my hands over my heart, and take slow, deep breaths, and feel my body here in the present moment. I might gently rock from side to side or massage my face. In these simple acts, my nervous system begins to unwind, soften, and ease. My awareness returns, fully embodied, soft and expansive. There is a deep sense of being back and fully connected to my true self—free of any trance or state that needs improvement. From this place, if anything does need attending to, it is unhurried, non -reactive and full of compassion and clarity.

What a gift that is.

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Transform Stress with Mindfulness Practices

Many of us habitually carry burdens of stress that exceed what any moment truly demands. This isn’t our fault; it arises from a lack of guidance in nurturing mindful awareness of our inner landscapes and tending to them skillfully. Yet, it’s encouraging to know that even amidst turmoil, we can use mindfulness and simple practices to regulate our nervous system, transforming stress into a deeper sense of inner stability and connection.

How do we do this?

First, take a moment to pause—just fully stop. Bring your attention inward and ask, “How am I truly doing in this moment?” Approach this inquiry with compassion, letting go of judgment and resistance. Notice how your body feels. What is your energy like? What thoughts have been occupying your mind? Acknowledge the emotions present, especially those you might be (habitually) pushing away. This practice is most effective when you are genuinely honest about what you find.

Now, take three deep breaths. Inhale fully, then exhale slowly through pursed lips. Pause at the end of the exhale, allowing your body to naturally draw in the next breath. As you breathe, consciously release any tension in your jaw, neck, and shoulders. Let your body sink into the surface beneath you, feeling supported by the earth.

Take a few moments to simply experience the shifting landscape of sensations within your body. Invite relaxation and softness into your being. At this point, allow words of support or wisdom to arise from your compassionate self. Perhaps you hear, “This is a challenging time; be gentle with yourself,” or “Your intentions are pure; I see your heart.” Maybe the message is wordless—a deep sense of calm, strength or peaceful silence that washes over you.

Let this kindness permeate every cell of your body, imprinting a message of support and healing. In doing so, you nurture your nervous system, bolster your immune system, and guide your entire being back to a more optimal state. Remember, you are more than enough, and your willingness and capacity to stay connected to your natural sense of coherence, compassion, and peace benefits not only you but everyone you encounter today.

How do you feel after doing this? What tools/practices work for you to feel more calm and present? I’d love to hear.

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The Healing Power of Tears: Embracing Emotional Release

Often when clients step through the doorway into my office, tears are already spilling down their beautiful faces before they get settled on the blue couch. They often shake their heads apologetically, a bit baffled, yet relieved that this is a place where their tears come to flow.

It is the most beautiful thing to witness. 

So.much.healing is happening in these moments.

Beyond reducing our stress hormones and releasing oxytocin and endorphins, something so necessary cracks in us when we cry, doesn’t it?  When that shielding breaks, and the depths that are so exquisitely poignant and authentic are suddenly exposed. It’s astonishing ~ and brilliant.  I’m sure you know from your own experience how these moments can feel transcendent.  The healing relief of being able to hear your own heart.  The energizing clarity that nourishes parts of you that have been flat or inaccessible. The sense of being flooded with self-forgiveness. Tears like this are truly healing, often permanently shifting our perspective in ways that allow us to move forward in a completely different way.

It’s wild how much we can brace against our tears (consciously and unconsciously).  Yet once those deep plates shift and we crack, we can relax our hold, exhale and experience deep peace.