Tag: consciousness

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Getting stuff done – from presence

I received a beautiful question the other day, from a friend who was seeking understanding around how to respond to all the demands in life and maintain present moment awareness.

I love this question: How do we move through life with awareness (staying rooted in the present) and still get everything done?

How do we stay present when so much of what we do seems to require thinking, planning, doing….like our jobs, or keeping a household running, or taking care of others that need us?   It seems that the very heart of our conditioning lies in these massive invisible clouds laden with ideas, expectations, plans and objectives that we unconsciously carry into each moment (whether it is a business meeting, or grocery shopping, or even some of our social get-togethers). No wonder we are exhausted!  We spend virtually all our time racing around, trying to get everything done while meeting all the conditions and demands written in these ‘clouds’.

Is it possible to just let all that go and fully be here (and still see everything that ‘needs to get done’, get done?)

Well, why don’t you check it out for yourself?  I have found that it is not only possible, but much more sane and enjoyable…..

There are no conditions needed to be fully present.  We don’t have to wait until there is a quiet moment alone to allow ourselves to be fully present.  We can be fully present – actually we already are fully present– in any moment.  Notice if you have attached an idea or image of what ‘being present’ looks like…..most of us do. Being present doesn’t look a certain way – it simply means being fully open to what’s here.  So we can be fully present with sadness, or busyness, or stress – these states might not be comfortable but we don’t have to let them take us for an exhausting mental ride. We can just stay present and not run away, or hide, or push away, or distract ourselves from discomfort of any degree.  It can be challenging at first – because it is unfamiliar and seemingly counter-intuitive to remain in apparent discomfort – but that changes.

It is helpful to consider the conditions you may have put on your experience (for it to be ‘good’ or ‘happy’ or ‘meaningful’).  And see that because you likely have a deep preference for certain moments, activities, people or emotional states, when something different arises, you hit resistance – and then feel like you are not ‘present’. It is natural to have preferences – but when we continually exert effort to ‘make our preferences come into being’, we are in resistance to what is already present, and we feel out of alignment with ourself in some way – disconnected, separate, fragmented, confused….

So become aware of that resistance – that is what makes things extremely painful. The resistance is what causes the suffering.  Once you are aware that you are resisting something uncomfortable (almost always an emotion) you are at the foot of a conscious choice -to keep resisting (denying, avoiding) or to dive in and see what’s there.  I’m here to encourage you to take the dive!!  (Join me for a session if you would like support in moving through this…..<3).

There is a maturing that happens here… at some point we start to realize how we’ve been on the path of insanity, which involves believing every thought and working our butts off to accomplish everything those thoughts tell us to do. Then we might start to question our thoughts (Byron Katie’s Work is so useful here) and we start to see that we don’t have to believe them – there are other choices.

Then we might see that the one we identify ourselves to be, the one in control, actually doesn’t exist – except as a very strong and persuasive (continually gathering evidence to assert its existence) idea in our mind. An idea we have worshipped and defended fiercely for a long time, as being the centre of our existence.  When this ‘me’ is seen though, a surrender spontaneously occurs and we find ourselves to just simply be here, with whatever is, without condition – we are curious, alive, conscious, spontaneous, intelligent and loving presence.

So then from this place ~of presence~ we might notice that the diapers are getting low, or we are out of bananas, or there is a work meeting scheduled for 11:00 am.  Ok, this is the richness of the dance of life – we respond ‘as indicated’ to whatever life brings – from presence.  Maybe a thought arises that a lesson needs to be planned for next week’s class – so we can notice that thought and remain conscious…. we can look to see if there is an emotional charge (stress) associated with it?  If so, we inquire (open) into that stress. Or, if there is no stress, we go ahead and plan the lesson -from presence – which in my experience, results in a creative, inspired and joyful planning session which will likely flow into the actual class when taught.

It is essential to start telling the truth about what the most immediate thing is that is arising, whether it is an event, an emotion, an action, and attend to that. This often means just focusing your full awareness on it.  Insights will flow in.

From a place of presence, the things we once thought ‘had to get done’ start to take on a different hue – a different meaning. They start to represent the mysterious movements of life.  And lots of these things are seen to be nothing but conditioned demands from the illusory ‘cloud’, and they don’t actually need to get done – or if they do, we see that they don’t need to be stressful, or resisted, or executed in a predetermined way. We might see instead that they are all opportunities (diverse and always unexpected) to be unconditionally present.

We start to see busyness as the vibrancy and abundance of life’s movements.

This is what it means to operate from conscious loving awareness.  It is gentle and supportive – and much more humble and simple than the perplexing weight that comes with trying to meet all the unconscious demands set by our cloudy minds.

Peace to you in this moment <3

L.

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facing despair

Gangaji speaks about the essential jump – where we plunge our consciousness all the way through whatever identities we have believed ourselves to be – into the abyss of despair.  This may not sound like the most fun way to spend your time…and in truth, most of us take drastic measures to avoid this gnawing pit. But at some point, we must be willing to recognize that when we continually avoid this deep wound, we build up a storyline on top of it that is fuelled on a very deep (almost imperceptible) level by avoidance of this foggy and miserable sadness.  So we end up carrying that sadness everywhere – and as you know, it comes up through the cracks in all sorts of crazy (and crazy-making) ways.

So eventually, we must face this abyss. Life will carry us to this most mysterious choice-less decision to consciously and willingly explore this churning darkness.  Arriving at this moment is the most terrifying and sacred gift.  We know we must jump into this abyss unarmed, unprotected, undefended… we must be willing to free fall into the centre of it – with no escape hatch.

Until we face this most essential wound – we live in avoidance of it.  Many of you already know this is so in your own life.

I am here to tell you there is no hard landing at the bottom of this jump.  When we are truly willing to face – to open ourselves to fully face and feel this despair – to let it break our hearts – and to continue going towards the most excruciating epicentre of it anyway…. there is something tremendously alive, vibrantly conscious and profoundly loving waiting ~for you~ at the centre.  Once we fully recognize the truth of ourself – not as a concept or some lovely idea we’ve heard from someone else, but directly for ourselves… there is a realization that it cannot ever be (and never was) unmet.  The mind cannot ever grasp this – and if it tells you it has, that is not the truth….

There is a catch though, we can’t dive in looking for this ‘something at the centre’… we must go in fully willing to let it consume us completely… to be fully devastated by our own despair….. not ‘for a little while’  or for ‘just a peek’ – but an eyes wide open, deep dive into the possible foreverness of this despair.

The despair is the flagging tape, showing you where the portage starts – through a tangled forest to the long-forgotten, long-avoided well – the abyss.

This is a most sacred journey.

So much love and support – and encouragement <3

L.

ps email me if you would like to book some time with me!…..xoxo

theawakeningheart@laurapshaw.com

 

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Staying vigilant to awareness

“They” say (in my books, the likes of Gangaji, Papaji, Ramana – and Eckhart Tolle are a good ‘they’) that there is no teaching, no teacher, no student, no practice.  And I get this.  I see that realizing the true nature of our Self is recognizing what we ARE, it is not something that we can learn.  But the ego wants to learn how. ‘How do I find enlightenment?  How do I attain Freedom and Truth?  Show me how”.  So we go to ‘teachers’, and a ‘teacher’ can only point us in the right direction.  A true teacher can only point to the truth that is already present. It is the same truth in ‘us’ as in ‘them’.  Perhaps the difference between a ‘teacher’ and a ‘student’ is that a teacher can see in plain view that which is already awake – and the most profound teachers always revel in the beauty of the truth with great joy and humility. There is nothing to ‘teach’. There is no curriculum, no prescription, no prerequisites and no concepts to internalize.……we don’t have to chant mantras, or raise our vibration, or activate our kundalini to awaken. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, in fact, if we want to use them to calm our minds or to ‘feel better’, they are great.  But if we are using them to ‘try to awaken’, we are yet again caught in the trap of following a concept instead of meeting the sweetness of the truth that is always already here. We don’t have to learn a single thing and we don’t have to try to change who we are or the quality of our thoughts in the least. 

So what the heck do we do?

We can stay aware of the awareness that we are – when we are meditating, when we are multi-tasking, when we are thinking dreadful thoughts or blissful thoughts…  we can notice what all phenomena is happening within.  We can see what doesn’t ever change, and we can start to recognize that the vastness of ‘what sees’ is who and what we are. 

So if there was a practice, (and Gangaji speaks about this), it would be to stay ‘vigilant’ to this awareness.  When a thought – (or an emotion/tension/feeling of stress) arises, stay rooted in being aware of it and not jumping into it and being completely entangled in it…… this is SO hard at times – especially when a really ‘sticky’ thought comes up.  The temptation to just unconsciously react is SO ingrained that it can feel infuriating to not react as we perhaps once would have.  The ego feels ‘entitled’ to take action on what it thinks is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.  But here’s a good nugget that really helps me – the thoughts aren’t the issue – it is the resulting actions that we take, the energy we invest, and the emotions that we allow to consume us, that are the problem. Automatically believing an unchecked mind makes us do all kinds of weird shit – to ourselves, and to each other.

And this is a seriously deep and wide-spread addiction that indeed causes suffering. 

I’ve found that as I ‘stay vigilant to awareness’ – the most longstanding beliefs that have had the strongest hold on me are being uprooted, and the tendency and temptation to react (and hang onto them as being true) is STRONG.  But as I stay vigilant, I am able to finally meet these thoughts directly instead of burying them under anxiety, tension, a handful of chocolate chips, or a glass of wine.  I am able to see their falseness with such clarity that it is often humourous.  These old beliefs start to naturally loosen their lure and I’m able to see a choice that wasn’t visible before – to fall back asleep, or to stay awake.  By choosing to stay awake, an infinite amount of new choices continually become possible.

Seeing beyond the limitations of our mind isn’t for the faint of heart.  It is hard work – we must be willing to meet everything head on.  It can be extremely uncomfortable – this is certainly not about pushing the negative away and basking in bliss. This is about facing the truth of everything that we believe including what terrifies, enrages and inspires us……and most important, who we believe ourselves to be.  And when we are willing to TRULY face it, full on, with no escape plan, no shield and no lucky penny – just nakedly facing the truth….. there is something waiting to be discovered.

Peace.