Writings

Willingness has been such a teaching for me. When some emotional storm blows in, or a mental pattern begins to loop its way through a well-trodden neural pathway, or a circumstance suddenly unfolds an old sense of needing to do something to prove ‘my’ worth, I’ve noticed that the tendency is to immediately (and subconsciously) judge and resist these patterns and indulge in putting forth a huge amount of effort to try to change them.  In this way, an inner war (that claims the lion’s share of attention) is waged, What an effort, what a burden!  I see so clearly that the arising of these old tendencies is not the problem, falling into the trance of reactivity, and the ensuing attempts to manage and fix, is the cement that can bind me to identity.

I’ve also noticed that when it feels like there is a ‘me’ here driving the ship, pride and self-deception are both running on high in the background, keeping everything ticking along, doing their job of perpetuating unconsciousness. So when any of this comes up, a powerful inquiry has been, ‘If I was totally willing to tell the flat-out truth about what’s here, what would I notice in my experience?’  Immediately, pride and self-deception become ineffective and come to a halt, and awareness becomes imbued with the natural capacity to be objective and truthful.  With straightforwardness and ease (and often a deep humility and humour) it is clear to see what’s been running as well as any reaction to it. This alone brings a palpable shift into relief, lightness and freedom…. and a sense of falling back into an attentive sentience and wholeheartedness that is home.  So it’s willingness that’s the key.  Are we willing to expose what’s truly here in our experience – especially the bits we don’t want to be here and that we want to fix/hide?  What would happen if we just told the truth about what is here – even for a moment? <3