I recently returned from a family adventure exploring Vancouver and a small island way up the Sunshine Coast. It was a significant trip in so many ways – the first time we’ve gone anywhere since the twins were born, their first time seeing the ocean, and an important time of connecting with some beautiful people in our lives. Just by chance, I was able to meet one of my teachers, Cheryl Brewster, in person for the first time. We’ve been working together (over the phone) for over 4 years now and I was overjoyed to discover that she lives within walking distance of where we were staying and was available to meet me at her house.
What a joyous and stunning visit we had! It felt like two ancient friends coming together to share notes on intuition, mindfulness and awakening. Cheryl has been such a deep support to me on this path -always encouraging me to trust myself to go deeper and to trust the experiences that I have. So often, even as an intuitive self-inquiry ‘coach’, there can still be a conditioned habit to invalidate (or play down) the reality or worth of my deep spiritual experiences. Maybe this comes from a fear of how I will be perceived by others, or from an uncertainty (the ego’s) of how to navigate life from this place. But in Cheryl’s radiant presence, any questions around what is valid and ‘real’ and what isn’t, fall away. I acknowledged to her how deep our connection felt, despite never having met in person before, and after a moment, she smiled and said ‘that’s what happens when you have two people together who understand that there is only one of us here’.
After talking for a while over tea, we knew the pocket of time for our visit was coming to an end. She had me sit and listen to some incredible music (Paul Armitage). I had a beautiful and unexpected experience that I’d like to share here.
As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt these two warm hands firmly on my shoulder blades and upper back. I thought maybe it was Cheryl and peeked open my eyes, but there she was sitting on the couch next to me. I told her I felt these hands and a warm presence behind me – was it a spirit guide? (I asked). She told me to just sit with it – I could hear the smile in her voice. The presence of love and warmth behind me started to get so strong and I could feel tears welling up -some part of my ego resisted this energy (almost like a stubbornness – ‘I’m fine, I don’t need this support’). But this love (and I can only describe it as this very present and powerful loving energy) became so strong that something in me collapsed – the tears came rolling down my face and once I fully let this energy envelop me, it became instantly clear that this love was COMING FROM me. It was/is me. It was so familiar and clear – I was left smiling and shaking my head – so grateful for this powerful reminder from my Self.
Cheryl did a blessing for me – welcoming me home to the Here and Now – she said with a twinkle in her eye that we’ve done this (blessing) before many times, and we will again. She is a true master.
We do forget – even after powerful awakening experiences that reveal to us the unshakable truth of what is at our core – we do forget as we get lured back into navigating life from the seemingly necessary reference point of a ‘me’. It seems to be part of this whole process, to remember and know, and then forget and struggle, then remember and touch bliss again, and then forget once again. Each time it seems that the remembering is more powerful and the forgetting isn’t as deep, nor does it last as long. Eventually, we are here to stay.
The task when we remember, is to honour what we are and stay connected to it by keeping our attention on it as we navigate through all the tasks and moments of our daily lives. This is what ‘integration’ is all about…. coming back into our lives, our bodies, our families, our roles while remaining in alignment with the conscious awareness that is at our core – our essential self. Even when we believe or feel we are disconnected from ‘it’ – that feeling of disconnectedness is exactly the place to inquire into so we can see for ourselves what is true, and what isn’t.
As each of us breaks through more subtle layers of conditioning and unconsciousness, our capacity to hold space for each other deepens, which primes the possibility and reality of deeper spiritual openings, self-realization and the evolution of consciousness everywhere.
So thank you Cheryl. You reminded me again that sometimes we need a teacher who understands the depth of what we are poking at to hold the space for us while we freely explore. I don’t doubt that it was your presence and sense of unlimited possibility that allowed this depth of self-recognition to occur … what’s next???? 😉