Staying vigilant to awareness

“They” say (in my books, the likes of Gangaji, Papaji, Ramana – and Eckhart Tolle are a good ‘they’) that there is no teaching, no teacher, no student, no practice.  And I get this.  I see that realizing the true nature of our Self is recognizing what we ARE, it is not something that we can learn.  But the ego wants to learn how. ‘How do I find enlightenment?  How do I attain Freedom and Truth?  Show me how”.  So we go to ‘teachers’, and a ‘teacher’ can only point us in the right direction.  A true teacher can only point to the truth that is already present. It is the same truth in ‘us’ as in ‘them’.  Perhaps the difference between a ‘teacher’ and a ‘student’ is that a teacher can see in plain view that which is already awake – and the most profound teachers always revel in the beauty of the truth with great joy and humility. There is nothing to ‘teach’. There is no curriculum, no prescription, no prerequisites and no concepts to internalize.……we don’t have to chant mantras, or raise our vibration, or activate our kundalini to awaken. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, in fact, if we want to use them to calm our minds or to ‘feel better’, they are great.  But if we are using them to ‘try to awaken’, we are yet again caught in the trap of following a concept instead of meeting the sweetness of the truth that is always already here. We don’t have to learn a single thing and we don’t have to try to change who we are or the quality of our thoughts in the least. 

So what the heck do we do?

We can stay aware of the awareness that we are – when we are meditating, when we are multi-tasking, when we are thinking dreadful thoughts or blissful thoughts…  we can notice what all phenomena is happening within.  We can see what doesn’t ever change, and we can start to recognize that the vastness of ‘what sees’ is who and what we are. 

So if there was a practice, (and Gangaji speaks about this), it would be to stay ‘vigilant’ to this awareness.  When a thought – (or an emotion/tension/feeling of stress) arises, stay rooted in being aware of it and not jumping into it and being completely entangled in it…… this is SO hard at times – especially when a really ‘sticky’ thought comes up.  The temptation to just unconsciously react is SO ingrained that it can feel infuriating to not react as we perhaps once would have.  The ego feels ‘entitled’ to take action on what it thinks is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.  But here’s a good nugget that really helps me – the thoughts aren’t the issue – it is the resulting actions that we take, the energy we invest, and the emotions that we allow to consume us, that are the problem. Automatically believing an unchecked mind makes us do all kinds of weird shit – to ourselves, and to each other.

And this is a seriously deep and wide-spread addiction that indeed causes suffering. 

I’ve found that as I ‘stay vigilant to awareness’ – the most longstanding beliefs that have had the strongest hold on me are being uprooted, and the tendency and temptation to react (and hang onto them as being true) is STRONG.  But as I stay vigilant, I am able to finally meet these thoughts directly instead of burying them under anxiety, tension, a handful of chocolate chips, or a glass of wine.  I am able to see their falseness with such clarity that it is often humourous.  These old beliefs start to naturally loosen their lure and I’m able to see a choice that wasn’t visible before – to fall back asleep, or to stay awake.  By choosing to stay awake, an infinite amount of new choices continually become possible.

Seeing beyond the limitations of our mind isn’t for the faint of heart.  It is hard work – we must be willing to meet everything head on.  It can be extremely uncomfortable – this is certainly not about pushing the negative away and basking in bliss. This is about facing the truth of everything that we believe including what terrifies, enrages and inspires us……and most important, who we believe ourselves to be.  And when we are willing to TRULY face it, full on, with no escape plan, no shield and no lucky penny – just nakedly facing the truth….. there is something waiting to be discovered.

Peace.